In the comfort of familiarity, it’s easy to feel safe and in control. One feels as if their bases are covered, they have a handle on things, and they are secure in routine. Independent. Composed. Protected.
But once our routine gets rocked around, we are driven headfirst into something unfamiliar, or something comes along that we can’t control, our feeling of independence is shattered. We realize that we’re never in control, we cannot find our security and safety in ourselves, and no matter how collected we may look on the outside, there will always be times of inner turmoil.
We realize we’re desperate.
My summer has been crazy so far. Save the first couple weeks after my semester ended, I haven’t spent more than a week in the same place. I’m constantly running from one thing to the next, trying to be prepared for whatever is next on my agenda. And somewhere in the stress and chaos, I see it.
Try as I might, I will never come to the place where I can do it all by myself. I will never quite have a handle on things or be able to rely on my own abilities and strength to get by. My attempts at perfection will always come up short, and anything I try to bring to the table will never be enough.
But this desperation doesn’t have to be a bad thing. It shouldn’t be a bad thing, because our desperation is meant to bring us to dependence. When we finally reach the breaking point and realize we could never handle things on our own, the door opens up for God to come in and breath his assurance that he is our strength. He is our provider. He is our joy. Our peace. Our Savior. Our life. When we come to the point of realization that we truly are desperate for him, we can truly begin to depend on him.
[soli deo gloria]